In today's fast-paced world, many individuals struggle to find success in their personal and professional lives. This article will dive into what keeps people from being successful and provide actionable steps to overcome these obstacles. By understanding the core principles of success, you can chart a path toward achieving your own goals.
Table of Contents
Step 1: Understanding the Concept of Success
Success is often misunderstood and varies for each person. Many factors influence what keeps people from being successful.
Defining Success
Success can mean different things, such as achieving goals, personal happiness, or financial stability. It's essential to identify personal definitions of success to pursue it effectively. In my experience, I find that many people chase an ideal of success that is presented to them. This leads to feelings of incongruency when chasing certain goals. For example, imagine an artist living in the United States of America.
The artist may value creativity or the pursuit of daily pleasure in the form of pursuing their passions. However, if he or she were to listen and conform to the standards of society, they would be forced to strive for the standard "American Dream". The artist would need to take on massive debt at a university, pursue a degree in a field that they may find uninteresting and one that doesn't align with their values, and sacrifice most of their time in pursuit of money in order to purchase the big house, the fast car, and the corporate status.
By chasing this version of success, the artist moves away from what could lead them to a fulfilled life. On the other hand, if the artist were to define success for himself or herself, they might discover that painting brings them the most joy. Perhaps they can spend time painting as much as they'd like in an area of the country that's relatively low cost yet obscure. Perhaps they could take on a low-stress job that pays the bills but frees them up to paint as much as they'd like. Are they living out the American Dream? Not at all. At least not in the traditional sense. But the artist is staying congruent to who they are and pursuing an ideal lifestyle that fits them. The key takeaway is that many people live unenjoyable lives because they spend their waking hours trying to pursue a lifestyle or ideal given to them by others. Take time to consider what your ideal lifestyle would look like. Ask yourself how you'd spend every hour of your day if you had no restrictions. What would your living situation look like? What would your social circle look like? What hobbies would you have? What would your daily structure look like? How would you make money? How much money would you like to be making? Truly take time to dissect your ideal life. From there, reverse engineer the process to get what you want. Ignore others that try to pull you from your path.
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Step 2: Analyzing the Three Pillars of Life
To achieve success, one must consider the three pillars of life: Health, Wealth, and Relationships. Each pillar plays a crucial role in overall well-being. Years ago, when I was in a dark era of my life, I learned about a concept known as Eudaimonia. I was massively depressed. I'd spend random nights crying in my room alone. I knew I was upset but I couldn't quite place my finger on why.
Inevitably, I began to ask myself how I could fix my situation. How could I feel better about myself and my circumstance? I had no mentors. I had no tutors. I have no brothers, sisters, or close relatives to confide in. I had no adults or anyone significantly ahead of me that could provide words of wisdom. And, at the time, I didn't want to talk to my parents about the way I felt. So, with no one nearby to turn to, I rationalized that perhaps books had the answers I desired.
It took a while, but I eventually made a habit of going to the Schlow library in State College, PA. I'd spend as much time as I could there, grabbing whatever books caught my eyes. Initially, I read psychology books. Then, I moved to philosophy books. Within the philosophy books, I learned about the concept of Eudaimonia. This concept changed my life. Passed down from Socrates, Eudaimonia is his framework for living an exceptional, worthwhile life. Socrates broke this concept down into three core principles that every human should constantly be in pursuit of throughout their entire lives.
These principles are: Health, Wealth, and Relationships. Instantly, upon reading about the concept, it became clear why I was depressed. My depression wasn't born from any external affliction. It was born from my internal perception and thoughts regarding my circumstances. Metaphorically and literally speaking, I looked in a mirror. I was overweight and out of shape. I was broke and always had a negative bank balance. I lacked close relationships, especially a romantic partner.
In hindsight it seemed obvious, but everything looks clear and easy to see when you're looking backward. From that point on, I began to read more books, browse through blogs, and watch YouTube videos to learn as much as I could about these 3 areas, or "Pillars" as I now like to call them. Below are some of my key takeaways.
Health
Health is foundational. Poor health can hinder success in other areas, impacting productivity and motivation. Many think of health solely in terms of one's aesthetics or appearance. Sure, this is a part of health. But this isn't the only factor that determines one's health. Overall, health is determined by one's physical and mental attributes. It's how you feel on a daily basis, how you look, how others perceive you, how you perceive yourself, and how you think.
A negative mindset leads to negative behaviors and activities. A positive mindset leads to positive behaviors and activities. Likewise, healthy activities and behaviors fuel a positive mindset. And negative activities and behaviors fuel a negative mindset and lifestyle. The mind and body work in unison. Both need consistent work if you desire to build your Health pillar.
Wealth
Wealth influences lifestyle choices. Many face financial struggles, which can limit opportunities and create stress. But how much money you have isn't the sole determinant of what it means to have wealth. How you spend your money is what creates wealth. You can be an Indvidual that earns $50,000 per year and be wealthy. You can also be an individual that earns $5,000,000 per year and be poor. Understanding how money operates, how to spend it, how to invest it, how to manipulate it to live your ideal lifestyle, and how to make more of it when necessary are all attributes that help one build up their wealth pillar.
Relationships
Positive relationships foster support. Many individuals struggle to form quality connections, which can lead to feelings of loneliness. We currently face a social epidemic. Many people are detached. Many people crave social connections. Building the relationship pillar involves being vulnerable, understanding how others perceive you, understanding yourself, and understanding human nature.
It's an active endeavor despite many people treating it as a passive one. Your relationships truly define you as no man is an island. Understanding to how build strong relationships and stay in touch with others is crucial for the construction of your Relationship pillar.
Step 3: The Happiness Index and Its Implications on Life
The Happiness Index provides crucial insights into societal well-being. Alarmingly, 88% of individuals self-report unhappiness, often linked to job dissatisfaction. As I spent time devouring books, I came across this statistic. It blew my mind, initially. But, as I began to observe others, I saw this statistic play out in real time. Very few people I encountered seemed genuinely content in their lives. Complaining was common for most people. And the complaints were never just about one thing.
Whether it was their poor health, how much their body hurts, how annoying their spouse was, how little money they had, or how much they hated their job, most people had several things to constantly complain about. When it comes to happiness, I pondered this concept until I came up with my own personal definition: Happiness is your average default state. If you can experience negative circumstances and easily bounce back to a positive state, you're happy. If you can experience positive circumstances but you easily bounce back to a negative state, you're unhappy. Now, let me explain this in simpler terms: Happy people are positive most of the time. Unhappy people are negative most of the time.
Implications for Success
But how does this affect you? The data would suggest that emotional wellbeing and happiness is a cheat code to life. Makes sense right? The happier you are and the greater your overall disposition to your circumstances, the easier it is to maintain that rhythm of winning. I read two books several years ago that truly opened my eyes to these insights. I recommend them both. The first book is The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. The second book is The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. In the book The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt argues that happiness is not just a result of success but can actually lead to it. This is based on the idea that positive emotions enhance cognitive flexibility, creativity, and problem-solving skills.
When people are happy, their brains are more adept at making connections and finding innovative solutions. In other words, you default to looking for winning outcomes rather than losing ones. In the book The Happiness Advantage, Achor suggests that happiness creates a type of ripple effect that extends beyond the individual. Your positive emotions improve your social interactions, enhance teamwork, and lead to better leadership. This network of positive relationships and collaborative environments contributes to greater success in professional and personal settings. When it comes to success, I highly suggest finding strategies and techniques to improve your daily happiness. This might seem difficult for some people but I can assure you it isn't. I have a few simple strategies that will walk you through exactly what I did to feel more positive regularly and become a happier individual.
Step 1: Find Daily Gratitude
I tend to find that one's outlook on life influences how happy one is. If you see the negative in every situation or circumstance, you'll be unhappy. You condition your mind in a terrible way. Instead, find gratitude in every circumstance you're in. No matter how bad the circumstance may seem, try to find at least one aspect that makes it favorable to you. A negative person sees an obstacle in front of them and thinks, "I can't go forward". Feeling defeated, this person walks away and gives up on whatever the challenge is.
A positive person sees the same obstacle and thinks, "Great! Another challenge to overcome". They begin to find solutions to their problems. And, undeterred, they progress toward their goals. Thinking in this manner is not easy and it will take time and practice. The simplest suggestion I have is to write at least 5 things you're grateful for every day. Try to write unique things every day. Please don't overcomplicate this. Some of the 5 things you write can be as simple as waking up, having running water, having caring friends, or having a car to drive.
These sound simple, but people often disregard how many blessings and gifts they actually have in their lives. I often hear people complain about their jobs. They might make $52,000 year. They may even live paycheck to paycheck and slightly struggle. But they have a car, a spouse, running water, relatively good health, food on the table, and live in an area with a great climate and relatively friendly people. I'd suggest that if you're in a similar situation, be thankful. Change your language. Begin to say, "I get to work" rather than, "I have to work". Understand that not everyone has a full time job. Many people don't have jobs at all. The average global household income is about $12,000. Many people in the world struggle even find the bare necessities. Many people in the world walk everywhere because the resources they desire are miles away. Cars might be scarce where they live. My point is that it's always best to see the positives of your circumstance because it's guaranteed that someone has it exponentially worse and would be happy to switch places with you.
Step 2: Manage Expectations
Over the years, I've tried to audit my own happiness. I try to figure out what makes me happy and what upsets me. I think about these things philosophically. What I've come to discover is that one's happiness comes from their expectations. So, in order to become a happier individual, you must manage your expectations more accordingly and adhere to a realistic outcome.
Consider this scenario. Johnny is a small 8-year old boy. He's a well-manned child that really wants this special toy. It's a giant action figure of his favorite superhero. He knew that he was good this year and he knew Santa would bring it to him for Christmas. In the weeks leading up to the big day, he pictured himself playing with the gift. He imagined all of the emotions he'd experience as he tore off the wrapping paper. Johnny even baked Santa Claus extra cookies to get on his good side and get to the top of the Nice List. After what felt like years, Christmas finally came. It's 7am and after barely being able to sleep, Johnny rushes downstairs, eager to open his gift. He tears through all 23 gifts Santa Claus brought him. But the one gift he was most excited for is nowhere to be found. Now, heartbroken Johnny begins to cry. This has officially become the worst Christmas ever.
Do you see what happened here? Johnny had a terrible Christmas. But was it objectively terrible? Or was it simply a matter of Johnny's perception. Johnny objectively received 23 gifts. And, realistically, Johnny could still get the gift after Christmas. What made Johnny unhappy is the gap in between his expectation and the reality of what occurred. Manage your expectations by taking an extra moment to think about what you'd like to occur, which is rooted in imagination, and what is likely to occur based on past experiences.
Step 3: Condition a Positive State
Your default state is powerful. As I mentioned earlier, a true measure of one's happiness or sadness is greatly determined by how readily and rapidly they bounce back to a positive or negative state. The best way to bounce to a positive state is by conditioning your mind to be positive by default. This final step takes time to achieve. It won't be an overnight process. But the results are worth it. In the past, in order to condition myself to default to positivity, I'd set an alarm every hour labeled "Re-Up". Whenever an alarm would go off, I'd stop whatever I was doing and do something to put myself in a positive, happy state.
I'd shout in a weird way, goofily jump around, wiggle my body, listen to some upbeat music that I know I'd enjoy, or watch a funny video. What you choose to do isn't important. What matters is that the activity puts you in a state of positivity. Over time, your body will adapt to this and by default you'll find yourself getting in the same positive state. This is what's known as Classical Conditioning, coined by the highly regarded psychologist Ivan Pavlov. If you do these three steps consistently, you'll find your overall mood, outlook on life, and happiness improving exponentially in a short period of time.
Step 4: Establishing Clear Goals
Setting clear goals is essential for success. Without defined objectives, individuals often struggle with direction and motivation. Whenever I see someone stumble in life and make little to no progress, it's always because they have vague goals or lack a goal entirely. Not creating goals is like having a plane in the sky or a boat at sea with no destination. Inevitably the boat and plane will wander, lose fuel, and crash or potentially stumble across an undesirable destination.
Setting clear goals is crucial for success because it provides direction and motivation. When you have a specific target in mind, it becomes easier to focus your efforts and resources on achieving it. According to a study by the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, goal setting is a key competency that enhances learning-to-learn skills, such as intrinsic motivation and self-management. These skills are essential for personal and professional growth, as they help individuals stay organized, prioritize tasks, and maintain a sense of purpose.
Additionally, the SMART criteria (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) is widely recognized as an effective framework for setting clear and attainable goals. By following this method, you can create a structured plan that guides you towards your desired outcomes.
Moreover, setting clear goals has been shown to improve performance and satisfaction. In his book “Goals! How to Get Everything You Want — Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible,” Brian Tracy emphasizes that goal setting is a powerful tool for achieving success. He explains that clearly defined goals help individuals measure their progress, stay motivated, and overcome obstacles. This is supported by research from the Positive Psychology Center, which found that goal setting enhances self-confidence and self-efficacy, as individuals take ownership of their progress and achievements.
By setting clear goals, you not only create a roadmap for success but also build the resilience and determination needed to reach new heights in your personal and professional life. In my own life, I've found it fascinating how often people lack goals. Consistently, I'll get a client who wants to be more productive and manage their lives more effectively. Typically, one of the first questions I ask clients is what their ideal life would look like. From there, we analyze what they're currently doing and augment their schedule so we can determine what they should do. However, when faced with the question about their ideal lifestyle or goals, most people have no clue.
Most people don't offer an answer to this question--at least not right away. In order for you to make progress, you need to have effective, well-defined goals. Even if the goals change over time, a goal should at least be present at all times.
Creating Effective Goals
But how do I create effective goals, you may be wondering? Over the years, I've found some shortcuts to setting goals and knocking them out of the park. I'll suggest 3 steps you can implement today to put you on the right path.
Be specific and measurable
Set realistic timelines
Regularly Review and Adjust
Your goals need to have an objective outcome. Most people, when they bother to create goals, have very vague goals. I want to be rich. I want to be more athletic. I want to find a husband. These goals are okay, but they're not concrete enough. One of the most common goals I hear is, I want to go to the gym to get in better shape. Cool. That's a great ideal. But how will you ever know when you've reached it? "Better shape" is very subjective. Are you in better shape if you lose 5 lbs.? Are you in better shape if you have better cardio? Both of these can be true simultaneously and individually.
A specific goal is well-defined and have a definitive number attached to it. A better version of the goal I want to lose 20 lbs. of bodyfat by May 17, 2026. Do you see how this goal is much easier to digest and sets you on track to actually achieve your goal? Take a look at the Anatomy of the Perfect Goal above. If nothing else, make sure the goal is Measurable, Timely, and Specific. This will guarantee you know how much progress you've made toward your goal, how far you are from goal success, and what goal success looks like.
Finally, make sure you review your goal and adjust it appropriately. Perhaps you've managed to succeed in reaching your destination of losing 20% of bodyfat. And maybe it even came ahead of schedule. This is the perfect opportunity to assess if you need to augment the current goal or move on to the next one. Alternatively, perhaps it's May 10 of 2026 and you've only lost 4 lbs. No problem. The purpose of the goal is to move you in a certain direction. What's more is that you have data. You can more adequately calculate how many pounds are realistic to lose in a certain timeframe. Additionally, you can contemplate what went wrong when pursuing your goal and what went well. After identifying these traits, all you need to do is make the proper tweaks, set an updated goal, and continue down the path to becoming the ideal version of yourself.
Again, this only happens if you follow the 3 steps I outlined above.
Step 5: The Importance of Accountability
Accountability plays a crucial role in achieving success. Most individuals struggle with self-accountability and benefit from external support to stay on track. Research has shown that sharing your goals with someone you respect or who holds a higher status can significantly increase your chances of achieving them. This external support system can push you beyond your comfort zone, encouraging you to perform at your best.
Having someone to hold you accountable can be a game-changer. Whether it’s a gym partner motivating you to stick to your fitness routine, team members striving for collective goals, or coaches providing guidance and support, accountability helps individuals overcome barriers and achieve their full potential. According to the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, accountability partners can help reinforce positive habits and break negative ones, leading to sustained personal growth. I've found that most people are terrible at holding themselves accountable. It's easy for us to neglect our goals or lie to ourselves. Have you ever intended to go on a diet or wake up early in the morning to be productive only to persuade yourself out of your goal later on? This happens to most people. It's difficult to hold yourself to a high standard when no one's around. It's difficult to not perform when everyone's watching and putting pressure on you. This is why accountability is so powerful.
Even in the workplace, accountability is important. Imagine how little the average employee would work if there were no employees or managers around. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that employees are more likely to achieve their goals when they are held accountable by their peers or supervisors. This not only improves individual performance but also fosters a culture of trust and collaboration within teams. Embracing accountability allows individuals to grow from their mistakes and feel empowered to take control of their own destiny.
Ultimately, accountability is a powerful tool that helps individuals and teams reach their full potential. By leveraging external support and creating a culture of accountability, we can overcome obstacles, stay focused on our goals, and achieve greater success in both personal and professional endeavors. I have two solutions to this problem. The first solution is to hire a professional to hold you accountable. Years ago, when I was a fulltime real estate agent, I struggled to get leads. I found it difficult to commit myself to a process that could sustainably help me generate leads while learning about the industry. As a recommendation from a friend, I eventually hired a business coach named Craig Ballantyne for a few hundred every month. I stretched my budget, but it was money well spent. Within a month of implementing Craig's strategies, I gained 27 leads. Prior to this, I'd barely average 1 lead a month.
In hindsight, while the strategy was useful, the true value of his coaching was the accountability. We had 45-minute long phone calls every 2 weeks. Between each call, I was given Marching Orders, which were suggestions and mandatory actions I needed to take to grow my business. Something about the idea of hopping on a call without completing my marching orders terrified me.
Sure, I knew that there was no objective punishment. I wouldn't get beat up and I doubt Craig would fire me as his client. But the idea of confessing that I allowed my fears or laziness to hold me back inadvertently forced me to take action. In the months of getting business coaching, I made massive improvements in both my business and life.
Hiring a business or productivity coach can be expensive. So, if you're someone without a big enough budget, you can implement my second option. Hire your friend to hold you accountable. Form an agreement with a friend you trust. Offer him or her $50-$100 every week if you fail (something that makes this worth their time). Set specific terms for you to follow. If you break those terms, you owe your friend the money promised.
For example, imagine you're trying to make a habit of reading 1 book per week. You can form an agreement with your friend in which you designate a specific book every Monday which needs to be sent via text to him/her. As part of the agreement, your friend checks in every Sunday at 3pm and requests a video of you summarizing the book. If you fail to send the friend a picture of the book on Monday and/or if you fail to send the video on Sunday, you instantly owe him/her whatever money was promised--no questions asked.
Does this make sense?
This is how you hold yourself accountable and guarantee you achieve your goals.
If you want to learn more about productivity tips from books, check out some of the other articles on my website.
Leviticus Rich is the premiere productivity expert and productivity coach located in the DC Metro area within Northern VA.
Leviticus has helped thousands of people improve their time management, focus, and productivity by offering some of the best, science-backed advice and techniques in the modern era.
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